John Guare’s SIX DEGREES OF SEPARATION

“Every moment in life is a learning experience.”

Paul in John Guare’s Six Degrees of Separation

I regret I have never designed the costumes for Guare’s intriguing play, Six Degrees of Separation; however, I have seen both the play (which debuted in 1990) and the 1993 film. The latter stars 25 year-old Will Smith as Paul, the masterful con man who bursts into the life of Ouisa (Stockard Channing) and Flan Kittredge (Donald Sutherland). Wounded and bleeding at their front door, Paul says he is a friend of the Kittredge’s Ivy League college kids and the son of Sidney Poitier.

I write about the plot of the play and the philosophy behind the “six degrees of separation” theory in my book Theatre Is My Life! But the notion is that we are all connected to any other person on earth by a network of relationships that involves five or fewer acquaintances.

So thinking about Will Smith today, I recall he portrayed Richard Williams — father and coach of tennis stars Venus and Serena Williams — in the 2021 film King Richard. For the role, he was awarded the Academy Award, BAFTA Award, Golden Globe Award, and Screen Actors Guild Award for Best Actor. But just before receiving the Oscar at the 2022 Academy Awards ceremony, Smith slapped presenter Chris Rock when Rock delivered an off-the-cuff wisecrack referencing Smith's wife, Jada Pinkett Smith. After a public outcry, Smith resigned from the Academy and has been prohibited from taking part in Academy functions, even the Oscars, for ten years. I have to ask: Did he learn something from his misbehavior?

Well, he did offer Rock an expression of regret: “I would like to publicly apologize to you, Chris. I was out of line and I was wrong. I am embarrassed and my actions were not indicative of the man I want to be. There is no place for violence in a world of love and kindness.” And, Smith disclosed in his acceptance speech for Best Actor that his eminent mentor Denzel Washington whispered to him words of wisdom after the incident. “Denzel said to me a few moments ago, he said, ‘At your highest moment, be careful, that’s when the devil comes for you.’”

“Every moment in life is a learning experience,” says Paul in the play. Of course, we all acquire knowledge at school or with a mentor, in our travels or through navigating a new hobby. But what about seeing the significance of our mistakes? When my children Elin and Seth tumbled into trouble at school or got caught in an incident at camp or endured a preventable accident, I always asked if they learned anything. We can always steer our futures better if we grow wiser from our mishaps.

I remember being fired from writing a book about Birmingham law. Working with a group of attorneys on the project, I thought I would be safe not having a written contract. After I had done months of research, one of the leaders (before I had written a word) decided he could pen the volume better and I was dismissed. Did I learn something? You bet I did!

I learned something from moving a sofa from one room to another by myself: chronic back pain. I learned something from leaving crispy shells in the oven too long: blackened tacos. I learned something from buying a delightful looking vacation plan: you know the answer.

Will Smith’s physical reaction to the joke at the Oscars was over the top, but he was responding to a verbal assault by the Oscar host. Did Chris Rock discover anything about himself from incident? Surely, he did. Hopefully, we all become more and more aware as we maneuver the minutes and hours and days of our lives.